Howshud the Little Rhino
Written by Dave Barth, November 18, 1989
This story was written for a lady at a company I worked for. She had visited the Western slope of Colorado and had brought favors back for everyone in her
unit. My "prize" was a tiny, stuffed rhinoceros, three inches long, that I placed on top of my computer terminal.
Howshould was his given name. He was an orphan, saved from certain suffocation in a toy box by a kind lady who spotted him standing on a shelf in a western
slope curio store. In fact, after she rescued him, she named him.
"Howshould" sounded like an Indian name (not American, but the Asian kind), but it befit the little rhino perfectly. The kind lady had an unusual name, herself,
and so she was comfortable bestowing unusual names upon rescuees. Her name was Leota, and her sense of humor must have been at least as good as her
parent's. Some said her name was a combination of her parent's names, maybe the melding of "LEO" and "margariTA," but, in truth, that wasn't the case.
Anyway, little Howshould was a very cute, fuzzy rhino. He was blonde, well, actually, yellow, in color, and he had an intelligent look, unlike his gigantic relatives
in Africa.
After rescuing Howshould, Leota decided to give him to a kind, understanding man who had helped support a large project that they both had worked on. Now,
this didn't upset Howshould. He was mature enough that he didn't need a mother anymore, but he didn't want to die of suffocation in a toy box. Leota knew that
the kind man would let Howshould run free atop his terminal at the place where they worked.
And so, for four years Howshould stood guard over the kind man's environs, keeping watch from his high plateau.
Then one day, Howshould was frightened when the man put him in a box. "Oh, no!" Howshould screamed from the box. "Don't let me suffocate in this box!" The
kind man rearranged the contents of the box so that Howshould could breathe comfortably.
Leota had either heard or sensed Howshould's cries, and she met with the man to discover why Howshould had been removed from his perch atop the terminal.
The man told her that it was time to move to greener pastures (his were pretty muddy by now), and he had decided to take Howshould home with him. Howshould
would not be left to suffocate in a toy box, but rather, allowed to play to his heart's content with the man's two felines.
Howshould was scared. He knew what a feline was. It was a creepy, stealthy, scary, terrifying cat that would creep up on an unsuspecting person, place, or thing
and pounce on it and chew it up.
The man paid no attention to Howshould's pleas for mercy. But then Leota asked the man exactly what would happen to Howshould. The man said that he would
probably take Howshould to the cats and toss him between them so they could all have fun playing. In her infinite wisdom, Leota knew this was folly.
The man continued, saying that he was considering giving Howshould an operation in which he would implant a ball of Catnip leaves in Howshould's stomach.
Leota knew that the operation wouldn't kill Howshould, but the cats would when they became hyperactive upon smelling Howshould's new, exciting odor. The
man even had the audacity to suggest an alternate plan of pressing the cat crazing juice out of the Catnip leaves and stems and injecting it directly into the little
rhino's body.
Leota cringed at the thought of two cats fighting over custody of the little rhino. She imagined one with Howshould's ear in its teeth pulling one way, and the other
cat with howshould's tail in its mouth pulling the other direction, and poor Howshould being pulled apart, limb by limb until there was nothing left of the little rhino
except for a pitiful puff of stuffing.
Leota was, by nature, a very kind and gentle person, and when she quietly told the man that she thought it was "sacrilegious" to put Howshould in the care of the
cats, the man realized that Leota was very upset, indeed.
The man had known Leota for nearly five years, and she had never uttered an angry word until now. In fact, the man suspected that Leota had to hide angel wings
under her clothes. He knew that Leota would never wear a backless dress, not solely because it would not be tasteful, but because of the wings.
When the man left work that evening carrying the box with How¬should, the sky looked angry and a cold wind blew. The man saw the writing in the sky and
knew that he couldn't throw Howshould to the cats.
When he got home, he placed Howshould in a high place so that the little rhino could look out over everything and be free from the ferocious felines.
During the next few days, the kind man contemplated what to do with Howshould. He knew that the little rhino would be lost without the daily activity of his friends
at the work place. Then the man hit upon a great idea! He would give Howshould back to Leota, and she could take care of him for the rest of his life.
The man asked Howshould if he would like the idea of going back to live with Leota. Howshould was delirious with joy, contemplating once again living atop a
terminal, and best yet, with the kind and gentle Leota.
The man decided it was settled. Custody of Howshould would be turned over to Leota. The man thought, "That is an idea made in heaven," and then he was
confused by that thought.
Maybe . . . naw, that couldn't be. Leota doesn't have that much pull, does she?
But Leota's wisdom goes very far, and when asked such questions as, "Who is the wisest in the Company?" or "Who in the Company is all knowing?" Leota's
response is always, "Howshould rhino!"