Mentoring

Mentoring

by David Barth
written May 31, 2007

Although mentoring has been touched on in business books, there has not been sufficient emphasis in the use of it for individuals wishing to become successful in their chosen field of work.

It is possible to wend one's way through life without a mentor, but it is neither efficient nor a good plan for success. Without someone to provide guidance, a person is liable to make mistakes that could have been avoided. Having a mentor can put a person on a fast-track to success.

Mentoring exists in several forms. The most prevalent is an informal association of peers who talk out issues among themselves and learn from each other's experiences. A similar situation exists in a relationship with a spouse or life partner where one or both individuals discuss work issues at home at the end of the day. In the peer example, where all of the individuals are at approximately the same experience level, the quality of advice may lack substance due to the "blind leading the blind." A similar situation exists in the case of a spouse or life partner, with the addition of emotion.

The best mentor is someone who is not a peer or spouse. This person is most often older, but the important attribute is that he is more experienced. A mentor's experience does not have to be in the same line of work because a person with much life experience can be very helpful in a general way. A good mentor can provide valuable insights into situations and make unemotional recommendations for possible courses of action to solve problems or guide a person's life track.

A mentor can be valuable at every stage of life. During a person's early years, parents can provide mentoring, but often, this does not occur due to parental attitudes and the emotional ties between them and their children. Sometimes mentoring occurs, but most often it is not sufficient to provide good decision making. Often a parent envisions that a child will follow in his footsteps and do what he did. An example is Donald Trump who was mentored by his father in the real estate business. In most instances, a young person does not choose his parent's vocation.

To not choose the same work that parents chose can cause hard feelings if the parents are not prepared for this situation. An example would be a young person who wanted to become a pilot, but because the parents, far removed from that line of work, didn't consider it a viable career and elected not to provide encouragement. Another example is the farmer's son or daughter who decides not remain in farming. Lack of encouragement to enter a different line of work can squelch a person's dreams.

Another example of failed mentoring is a person whose parents were a teacher and an engineer, professional lines of work that were far removed from the youngster's desire to become a blue-collar, technician for at a telephone company. In spite of constant criticism from his parents to study hard, get better grades, and elevate himself to become a professional like them, he chose his own dream and excelled at a phone company, happily working there for more than 35 years as a technician. In a sense, he may have been more successful in his career than his parents were in theirs.

Good mentoring is a key to success in a person's chosen field or avocation. The challenge is to create a mentoring situation. Mentoring must start from the bottom. A person can't expect a mentor to suddenly appear. A young person should evaluate potential mentors and then groom one or more of them.

Regardless of a person's situation, whether in prison, working in a factory, managing a company, or in business for himself, a mentor can make all the difference in a person's success and enjoyment of life.

Choosing a potential mentor is not difficult. A person can review all of the experienced people he knows to select those who might be good mentors for him. A person should try to get to know possible mentors on a casual basis, seeking a person who has compatible attitudes and personality.

When a person perceives there is a comfort level when interacting with a possible mentor, the next step is to attempt to groom that mentor into becoming a sort of life guide. This is the hard part. It may seem to be reverse logic that a person who wants a mentor must be the one who establishes contact and grooms the mentor, but that is the usual situation. Mentors don't jump out and say, "I'm going to mentor you to become successful!" They are experienced people who have their own lives to lead and usually don't seek a younger person to assist along the way.

The best method of grooming a mentor is to always maintain respect for that person. After all, there is a usually an age difference and possibly a generation gap. Grooming a mentor means requesting advice and listening to what that person has to say, giving them undivided attention. Most people are pleased to give advice to others. Although their advice does not have to be followed, it should be weighed and considered valuable because of its source.

Some people who need a mentor don't feel comfortable asking for advice. They want to do everything on their own, without help. This usually means that the person will make mistakes that a mentor could have prevented. A little help from a mentor can make all the difference in the long run.

A person may change mentors over a period of time, but the important issue is for a person to always have someone more experienced, whom they can ask advice and discuss options for continuing their success.

Mentors often have mentors, themselves, and their mentor has helped them be successful. Mentors can be found at work, but also in organizations such as Knights of Columbus, the Masons, Lions Club, and many others.

Our modern society has forgotten about mentoring. People tend to go their own way and not ask for advice. They have been led to believe that being "self-made” is the optimum method of becoming successful, and to ask advice is to lower ones self. At any age, the proof of the value of mentoring can be judged by looking back over the mistakes a person has made in life and considering if good advice could have averted the errors.

Some societies were built around a mentor. The American Indian had experienced chiefs within their culture whom younger persons went to in order to seek wisdom. Our culture has developed a cartoon view of a mentor as being a guru sitting on top of a mountain, but the value of establishing a mentor should not be underestimated or dismissed as being unnecessary or strange. It might be beneficial for schools, colleges, and companies to promote and support mentoring.